Behind Glass: Part Three

[lynzie914]

Title: Behind Glass
Pairing: Chloe/Oliver
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything except the laptop that this was written on. Seriously, I’m that poor.
Summary: An accumulations of moments in the Watchtower as Chloe begins to heal and Oliver helps her get there. Begins directly after Warrior, and will eventually spoil everything up to Conspiracy.

A/N: Sorry about this taking so long guys. (And yeah, you’re probably going to hear me say that a lot when I post stories.) I actually don't like this chapter all that much, but after trying to fix it for so long and failing, I decided to just post it. Hopefully you guys will like it better than I do. There was one scene in particular that caused me lots of problems and I rewrote like ten times. I had to keep it in Chloe’s perspective, but Oliver kept trying to put his opinion in and he’s very difficult to ignore sometimes. So basically, all blame for this taking so long should fall on him and his ever persistent voice in my head, and not me. XD

Comments are loved and appriciated! 
 

 

Part Three

Friends

“You did this.”

The blood drenched pipe slipped from her hands, hitting the ground with an loud thud that grew louder as it spun away from her, closer and closer to the pool of blood. It collided with a pair of familiar boots and she looked up to see Davis standing above Jimmy’s unmoving body, pipe in his hands, his clothes just as bloody as her own.

“We did this.” He said the words like they were something to be proud of. The way her father used to smile and congratulate her when he saw her name on her Daily Planet column. It had made her feel dirty too.

He stepped towards her, still smiling as though there wasn’t a body on the floor, as though they weren’t the reason for it. He stopped in front of her, his hand reaching out to touch her cheek, his thumb trailing over her lips, leaving her face stained with blood. He leaned forward and she wanted to stop him, wanted to yell out, but she didn’t know how. She couldn’t force her body to move.

He stopped just before he kissed her, his lips hovering just above her own. He released a gasp of pain his eyes filling with tears, a look of betrayal and rage on his face she was sure she had seen before, as his gaze fell away from her own. She could feel it now, the tip of the rusted pipe scraping against her stomach. He fell before her, revealing Jimmy standing behind him bloodstain more evident than before.

“You did this.” He told her. “Just you.”

He raised the pipe again and she screamed.

“Chloe? Chloe, wake up.”

She lashed out, ready to fight. Her hand connected with something hard and she let out a startled cry.

“Damn it, Chloe wake up.” She felt hands pushing her arms down by her side. “Chloe its okay just wake up.”

Her eyes blinked open and she saw Oliver leaning above her, concern and a bit of fear evident on his face. “Chloe, it’s okay. It was just a dream.” His voice was soft, barely above a whisper, but it felt harsh to her ears.

She nodded shakily, pulling out of his grasp as she sat up. She closed her eyes, leaning her head against the wall, taking comfort in the security it gave her. It was solid, it was real. Jimmy and Davis weren’t. That wasn’t what happened. No matter how real it felt, it wasn’t what happened.

“Chlo?” Oliver’s voice made her open her eyes. He was worried about her, concerned because he had never witnessed her nightmares before. Had never been woken up by her screams. She had always been quiet before.

“I’m fine.” She said forcing a smile at him. She didn’t think it was very convincing because it made his forehead furrow even more. “You said it yourself, it was just a dream.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” She wasn’t interested in talking about it. Memories of Jimmy, of Davis, of everything that had happened; it was all too close to the surface and all she really wanted to do was cry. She didn’t want to talk about it, she didn’t want to think about it, she just wanted it all to go away. “I just want to go back to sleep.”

“Okay.” He said softly. He moved back to his side of the bed and she forced herself to settle back down on her own. She didn’t fall back asleep that night and neither did he. Together they stared at the ceiling until the light began to filter in through the windows.

-------

Chloe was well aware that she wasn’t acting like herself. She had been irritable and snapping at people all week. She had canceled two meetings with Emil, not being able to concentrate enough on the information he had given her to talk about it properly. Some poor waitress at the coffee shop down the street had gotten cursed at just the day before. She was thinking of finding a new place to get her coffee after the scene she made.

She was trying to force her head back on straight, to snap herself out of her foul mood, but so far it wasn’t working. She knew what was wrong; she just didn’t know how to make it better.

“Up and at ‘em, Watchtower.” Oliver said walking through the doorway. He was grinning at her, a brown paper bag in one of his hands as he shut the door behind.

“We’re we supposed to have a meeting?” She asked. “I don’t remember getting an e-mail.”

“That’s because I didn’t send one.” He said moving behind her. “This isn’t about the league.”

“Then what—”

“You’ve been having some sort of a problem.” He said spinning her chair around to look at him. “And we’re going to work through it the Oliver Queen way.”

The Chloe Sullivan way of dealing with a problem involved a computer and too much coffee. The Lois Lane way of dealing with one involved ice cream and at least one prank phone call to an ex-boyfriend. Apparently the Oliver Queen way involved a deck of cards and a bottle of scotch.

“You do realize I’m not a guy right?” Chloe said raising an eyebrow at him as she let him lead her to the couch. “I don’t think alcohol and a game of cards is going to make me suddenly feel better.”

“Come on, Chloe. We’ll get a little tipsy and you get to prove how much smarter than me you are by beating me at poker. It’ll be fun, I promise.”

She’s wasn’t entirely sure it’s was a good idea, but it wasn’t as though she was really getting any work done and she knew she’d be up for a while no matter what she was doing. It wouldn’t hurt to have some company. Besides the scotch was probably more appealing than it should be.

Five games and half the bottle later, she was up a hundred dollars. She was positive that he had let her win the first game, but she was pretty sure she had won the other two hands on her own. Oliver was a good poker player, but she knew him well enough to read his tells. He knew her well enough to know her own too.

She reached for her glass, there was only a little bit left and she probably shouldn’t drink anymore after she finished it. Despite Lois’s best efforts to correct it, she was still a bit of a light weight. She was going to be feeling everything she drank in the morning. At least it would help her fall asleep though, maybe even put a stop to the dreams for the night. She lifted the glass, draining the rest of it quickly.

“Jimmy’s birthday is on Friday.”

The words flew out and Oliver paused in the middle of dealing out the cards for another game. It probably wasn’t the best time to bring it up, she wasn’t even sure Oliver really wanted to know what was bothering her, but it was too late to take it back now.

“That explains why you’ve seemed to get more upset as the day approaches.” Oliver said, placing the rest of the cards on the table in front of them. She wasn’t sure whether to be annoyed or thankful that he had noticed. “I’m sure it brings up some bad memories.”

“That’s not it.” Chloe said, shaking her head. “Two and a half years and somehow we were never together on his birthday. Or mine for that matter.”

She wasn’t sure what that said about them. That they had never given each other a birthday gift or watched each other blow out the candles on top of a cake. Something had always gotten in the way.

“So it’s something else.”

“I…I wanted to go to his grave on Friday. Bring some flowers.”

“But?”

“But I’m scared to go.” Chloe admitted quietly. “I’m scared to face him. God, he’s dead and I’m scared of him. How does that make any sense?”

It sounded so ridiculous to her out loud. Jimmy was dead. He couldn’t hurt her, couldn’t judge her, he couldn’t do anything anymore. And she knew that. She really did. It was just at night when she fell asleep and saw his face, contorted with pain and confusion and all she could think was that wherever he was, he must hate her now. She was scared to find proof of that somehow.

“It makes a lot of sense, Chloe.” He said, “You feel guilty, because he’s gone and your still here, because he died and you couldn’t stop it, because nothing you will ever do will change that. And you’re not going to stop feeling guilty until you face that all head on.

“You should go to the cemetery Friday.” Oliver told her, “If nothing else than to prove to yourself that you’re strong enough too.”

“I don’t know if I am.” She whispered. By that point she knew she had had too much alcohol. She wouldn’t be admitting to any of this if she hadn’t.

“You are. I know that you are.” He said. “But if you think it would help, I can go with you.”

“How is taking the guy I’m sleeping with to my husband’s grave going to make me feel less guilty?” She saw something shift in his expression at her words, something close off in his eyes, but she wasn’t sure what it was.

“We’re friends first, Chloe.” He told her, “No matter what happens, we’ll always be friends. And if you want me too, I’d like to be there for you.”

She blinked at him, his words taking a minute to penetrate through the alcohol and pain.

Lois would come with her if she asked, she would be supportive and understanding, but she didn’t know everything that had happened. She still thought that Davis had kidnapped her; she didn’t know that she had gone willingly. She couldn’t even imagine bringing Clark. Not after everything that had happened. She didn’t think having him there would help her. She didn’t think she would have the strength to face him and not break down. But Oliver, he knew everything and he was still there. He knew everything and he wasn’t running away, instead he was offering to stay.

And maybe she was right the first time. Maybe it was wrong to bring another man to Jimmy’s grave, maybe it was wrong to depend on Oliver so much when she didn’t even know what they were, but none of it really seemed to matter. Because he was her friend before anything else. And right then she really just wanted a friend.

“Thank you.” She said.

-------

Something was ringing, loudly and incessantly, and while she wasn’t sure what it was she was sure that she hated it. She felt the bed shift as someone moved and a moment later the sound stopped and was replaced by familiar whispering. Her eyes fluttered open as she tried to take in the room around her, everything was still a little fuzzy, and her mind was still on slug mode, but she was awake enough to recognize her surroundings as her bedroom. Glancing next to her, she saw Oliver leaning against the wall, talking rapidly into his phone.

“Ollie?” Her voice cracked a little and it made her wonder how long she had been laying there.

He swore under his breath, glancing over at her apologetically. “Emil, I’m going to have to call you back.” He hung up before the other man could have possibly answered.

“Sorry Watchtower, I didn’t mean to wake you.” He shifted in bed again, until he was lying down beside her, his head propped up on his hand as he leaned over her.

“Why are we in bed?” She asked blinking at him. It was dark outside but the street lights shown in through the windows. It wasn’t very bright, but it was enough to bother her eyes. She really had to remember to buy herself curtains.

“Because you fell asleep.” He said smiling down at her, “Face planted into a pile of paperwork while we were going over the security footage.”

Chloe groaned, fighting the urge to bury her head in her pillow. She couldn’t believe she had done that. The mission they were working on was important and time sensitive. They didn’t have the luxury of naptime. She struggled to sit up, but Oliver’s hands stopped her. “Hey, where do you think you’re going?”

“I have to get back to work.” She told him.

“No, you don’t. What you need is to sleep.”

“Ollie…”

“Chloe you’re exhausted. You’ve been up forever working on this, you deserve some rest. We both do. The guys are doing some simple recon work, John is on standby as backup and everyone knows to call me if someone as much as sneezes. Right now things are handled.”

“But—”

“Chloe if you’re this tired now, then you’re going to be even worse off when it comes time for the mission itself. Neither of us are going to be any good if we’re running on no sleep. So please, just lie all the way down and lets both try to get some more sleep.”

“What if something happens?”

“Then I promise I’ll wake you up the minute I get the call.” He said.

“What about Emil?” She asked.

“He can wait a few hours. It won’t hurt.”

She wanted to fight him, but he was actually making sense.

“Okay.” She nodded.

“Good. Okay.” He seemed surprised by her easy agreement and if she wasn’t so tired, Chloe probably would have been too. She didn’t like to give in, but he was right. She wouldn’t do anyone any good if she couldn’t concentrate during a mission. Her job required her to be alert and right now, she wasn’t going to be a help to anybody. Even her fuzzy sleep deprived brain could recognize that.

She smiled sleepily at him and laid back down, turning so her back was pressed against his chest. She felt him move a second later, his hand sliding down her side to rest on her hip as he settled closer to her. It had taken her a while to get used to sharing a bed with him, but now it had begun to feel natural. Like maybe it wasn’t so bad that he was there with her.

-------

Going out after league meetings was something of a tradition. After all the heaviness they dealt with, going and out and forgetting for awhile was a necessary thing. It helped keep them sane. Chloe hadn’t always gone with them in the past, but she had always been invited. So when Bart asked if she was coming with them, it shouldn’t have come as a surprise. But it did.

“Come on Chlolicous, it’ll be fun.” Bart said waggling his eyebrows at her. AC and Dinah nodded along behind him. Chloe wasn’t sure she knew how to have fun anymore.

“Uhh…yeah, sure.” Chloe said forcing a smile, “Just let me grab my coat, I’ll meet you guys downstairs.”

She turned away quickly, not leaving them much of a chance to question her, and she heard them leave behind her, laughing as the rest of the group shot down Bart’s request for Mexican. She grabbed her coat from where she had thrown it onto the couch when she had arrived, but didn’t move to put it on. Going out to dinner with the league, it should feel normal. She had done it plenty of times before. But somehow it felt different. It felt wrong.

“You okay?” Oliver’s voice came from behind her. She spun around and saw him standing there a worried expression on his face. She didn’t have to guess about why it was there.

“Yeah I just…”

“You don’t have to come, the guys will understand if you’re not feeling up to it.” He told her. “I know you’ve been up forever working on this, I’m sure you’re more than tired.”

“It’s not that I’m tired.” She said softly. It was that she wasn’t sure what she should do. The Chloe who had gone out with the league whenever they were in town, the one that came to AC’s defense whenever the team made too many fish jokes, the one that laughed whenever Bart asked her for a kiss, that traded hacking stories with Victor and bad date stories with Dinah; that still felt like a different girl to her. Some happier and better version of herself, and Chloe wasn’t sure how to get her back. She wasn’t sure if the league would like this version of Chloe. She wasn’t even sure she did.

“Chloe?” Oliver’s voice pulled her from her thoughts and she looked back at him.

“It’s nothing,” She said shaking her head. “I…Do you mind sitting by me at dinner?”

The words were out of her mouth before she could stop herself, before she could fully think it through. He looked surprised at first, but then he just smiled.

“I think I can manage that.” Her shoulders sagged and she smiled back at him. Oliver was on her side and maybe that was all she really needed.

-------

Chloe’s eyes strayed from the computer monitor to the com sitting in front of her. Oliver had turned his off a while ago, he had told her that he was waiting for the cops to arrive and then he was heading back in. She knew he was safe. He had never really been in danger himself. But she was still worried. She had heard his voice as he had explained what had happened. He had been too late this time.

The doors flew open and Oliver entered. His hood was thrown back and his sunglasses were in his hands, but he might as well been wearing both; she couldn’t see anything about what he was feeling.

“Are you okay?” She asked, moving to stand in front of him, searching him for possible injuries. He looked fine. A small scratch on his shoulder, but nothing worse than that.

He nodded, his actions jerky as he sat his bow to the side, his arrows and glasses on top of them. He turned back to face her, his expression still hard and unreadable, and then his hands were on her hips, pulling her tight against his chest as he leaned down to kiss her. Something about it was different, unfamiliar between the two of them and she pulled away from him.

“Ollie…”

His thumb caressed her cheek, gently tipping her head up to look at him. His eyes were pleading with her, begging her to accept him, to let this happen. Telling her that he needed it.

And she could see something behind it all, a guilty, desperate look in his eyes that told her that he had forced himself to stay behind the line, that he had stopped himself before he could do what he had really wanted to. It worried her that she could read him so well, that she could understand him in such a short time.

“Please.” It came out as barely more than a whisper, but it was enough. He needed her. He needed her just as much as she needed him.

She closed the space between them, kissing him. It was different than it had been before. It was softer, gentler, as though he wanted to be reminded that there was still something good in the world. It was everything that they had never been before and she let him have it, let them both find something in each other that they had never found in anyone else.