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lynzie914title: ain’t got no rainbow, ain’t got no cellar door
fandom: the vampire diaries
pairings: caroline/logan
summary: Logan Fell used to babysit her; it wasn’t like she was getting in a car with a stranger. She wasn’t that stupid. (Stefan and Damon don’t save her. Logan Fell kills Caroline. But then she wakes up and kind of wishes she hadn’t.)
warnings: dark!ship, mentions of past canon abuse
rating: t
word count: 3034
disclaimer: I don't own anything.
a/n: written for the prompt Caroline/Logan “I used to babysit you, Caroline” that I have saved on my computer but don’t remember where it came from. I’ve been wanting to write it since I found it and finally inspiration struck. I shouldn’t be working on anything but my big bang, but apparently I’m more skilled at procrastination then even I knew.
Caroline remembers her mom being a bitch (people wondered where she got it from but she knew) and going outside, because it was better than being inside. Anything really was. She tried to find Bonnie, she really did, but Bonnie seemed to have disappeared just like Elena and Matt.
(Matt really didn’t disappear; she was just avoiding him, which was basically the same thing.)
She remembers Logan Fell driving up in his fancy expensive car and offering her a ride, like some white knight she knew he wasn’t. She used to eavesdrop at the Gilbert house all the time; she knew exactly what happened between him and Jenna. But she couldn’t find Bonnie and didn’t know if she wanted to find Elena and knew for sure she wanted to be nowhere near her mother, so she said yes.
Logan Fell used to babysit her; it wasn’t like she was getting in a car with a stranger. She wasn’t that stupid.
She remembers climbing into his car. She remembers him smiling at her as his fists had clenched around the steering wheel. She remembers going to put her seat belt on.
Then she remembers nothing at all.
--
She wakes up on the cold concrete floor. Her body aching and her head ringing and there is this smell, a horrible smell that made her nostrils burn and her stomach turn. It was like rotting flesh, if you know, she actually knew what that smelled like.
There was a balled up jacket under her head, and she would have thought it was sweet, or at least considerate, if she knew where the hell she was.
“You’re awake. I thought you’d be out longer.”
Logan Fell is behind her, sitting on the ground with his legs out in front of him, staring at her with curious but cold eyes.
“I was out much longer.” He says, “But then, I had to dig my way out too.”
He’s not making any sense. Nothing is making sense. And the stupid buzzing just keeps getting louder. She looks up and sees florescent lights staring back at her. She thinks they might be mocking her.
She looks back at Logan, he’s grinning now.
“Don’t worry, Caroline, this is going to be fun.”
--
He leaves. Only he doesn’t really, because she can still hear him even though she can’t see him. Can still hear his footsteps pounding against the cement and the way he taps his hand against his belt.
It’s all so loud.
She wonders if he gave her something, if he drugged her. She’s never been on drugs before; she doesn’t know what they do to the system. She thinks she made the right decision if this is what they do.
She can hear something else with him, can hear it coming closer. It’s steady, rhythmic. A heart beat.
It’s the only one she hears.
She raises her hand to her chest, to where she knows her heart is. She doesn’t feel anything. Doesn’t hear anything either. It’s like it isn’t there at all.
Logan’s boots appear in front of her, next to them a pair of stiletto heels.
She looks up and sees him still smiling, his eyes on her hand. Or she hopes their on her hand. He took off the vest she was wearing.
She looks away from him, to the woman standing beside him. Mrs. Mills, she works at the library and once told Caroline off for returning a book late. She had been eleven. It was the only book that Caroline didn’t return on time.
She didn’t look scared, but her heart was beating fast. The sound of it kept echoing in Caroline’s ears. The vein in her throat was pulsating, was hard to look away from.
“A little present for you.” Logan says.
Caroline snaps her eyes to him confused. He smiles again and she realizes it’s a ridiculous smile. The type super villains have in cartoons and bad movies. The kind he used every night on the news before he left.
“She’s yours for the taking, Care Bear.” He tells her, “So go ahead. Take.”
He shoves Mrs. Mills at her, sends her crashing to the floor right next to her. Her head connects with the floor and draws blood.
Caroline acts on instinct, moves forward in a way she doesn’t understand, and licks the blood off the other woman’s face. It is the most amazing thing she has tasted. And it doesn’t make sense, because its blood and Caroline just licked it off her like it was ice cream.
(It tasted so much better than ice cream ever had.)
Caroline grabs her by the shoulders, forces her neck to bend and sinks her teeth into her skin.
--
Thumpthumpthumpthump.
Logan is talking behind her, talking about plans and burning the town to the ground. Reminding everyone who he is. Proving it, really.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
He says they’ll be perfect, that she’ll be perfect. Together they’ll tear this place apart. They’ll be Bonnie and Clyde, only with so much more blood.
Thump.
He says that everyone will pay. They’ll make them pay.
Caroline doesn’t hear a word he says.
--
The blood stops flowing into her mouth and silence replaces the sound of her heart and Caroline rips herself away.
She skids across the hard floor, her hands scraping and cutting, pushes herself farther and farther away from the body.
“I killed her.” It comes out as kind of a strangled sob. She barely even understands what she’s saying. She just knows she killed her. Knows she sunk her teeth into her neck and drank her dry.
(There’s a flash of teeth, of blood red eyes and fangs and pain. So much pain. But it passes as quickly as it appeared.)
“I killed her.”
Logan is there suddenly, crouching beside her with his hands on her face, whispering softly that it’s okay. It reminds her of when she was six and he was fourteen and she scraped her knee when she fell off her bike. He had kissed it and told her it would all be okay. She had told him she was going to grow up and marry him and he didn’t laugh like the other boys she had said that to before.
“It’s okay,” he says, tipping her chin to look at him directly to look at him, “That’s what you were supposed to do.”
“I—”
He’s wrong. She killed her. She killed her and that wasn’t okay. None of this was okay. There was blood on her mouth, on her hands, and Mrs. Mills’ heart wasn’t beating anymore.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Logan says.
His eyes stare too long at her mouth.
Caroline wants to run away. Wants to run far far away and never come back. Wants to wake up from this terrible dream. Wants Mrs. Mills to wake up even more.
Logan leans in, presses his lips against her own. Sucks her lip into her mouth and bites down just a little and groans. He moves quickly after that, his hands gripping her arms as he pulls her closer and licks away all the blood.
She hears him murmur that she didn’t do anything wrong but she doesn’t believe him and she doesn’t kiss him back.
--
Logan is busy. He’s pulling away the body, bringing her to pile her on top of all the other ones. Caroline hates that she was right. She’s not supposed to know what rotting flesh smells like. Isn’t supposed to know what blood tastes like. What death tastes like.
He acts like it doesn’t mean anything. He acts like its normal to have bodies piled up and locked behind chain link. He doesn’t act at all like the man she once knew.
He turns his back to her and Caroline runs.
There’s a door, she knows there’s a door, and she finds it quicker, faster than she should have. But she’s there, tearing it open and forcing herself outside before he can reach her again.
She’s outside. She’s escaped. But she hasn’t really, because it hurts. God it hurts. She can feel the skin peeling away, anger and pain bubbling up to the surface, taking its place.
(She can feel something else too. Strong hands grasping at her ankles, latching on and refusing to let go. Screams that don’t belong to her, telling her to run, to escape echo in her brain.)
She lets out a terrified scream and arms are around her, pulling her backwards, pulling her inside.
The two of them fall into a pile, him hovering over her as their legs intertwine.
“You can’t go outside.” He tells her.
(Something else eats away at her brain, a distant memory of someone else on top of her. Someone else with blood red eyes and horrible intentions. But she pushes it away.)
--
You’re a vampire, he tells her.
You need blood to survive, he tells her.
Damon and Stefan Salvatore are vampires too, he tells her.
You’ll be young and beautiful forever, he tells her.
I’ll look out for you, he tells her.
He’ll always look out for her and always means so much more now.
Caroline doesn’t say anything at all.
--
Caroline stays as far away from him as he’ll let her. He wants a friend, she can tell. Wants to be close to someone, to be near them again, and she is his only choice.
Caroline wants to leave. Wants her mother. Wants her friends. She doesn’t want him, doesn’t want this.
(She doesn’t get a choice though. She never gets a choice.)
She keeps remembering things, things she doesn’t want to remember. Damon is there, he is always there, and it’s like it’s happening all over again. His teeth in her skin, breaking and tearing. His hands pushing her down into her mattress, so far down she thinks she’ll never get back up. His eyes making her do things she didn’t want to do. But she does them with a smile, because Damon wants her too.
She keeps seeing him. Damon. Damon. Damon.
She wants it to go away.
She wants it to stop happening. For it to stop playing out in front of her eyes.
(“No, Damon. Stop. Please stop. Damon, please. No, no, no, no.”
She doesn’t get a choice though. She never gets a choice)
--
She can see the sun sitting in a small window across the room. She’s been planning her escape around it. Vampires can’t walk in the sun, not if they don’t have a magic ring. They’ll burn alive, screaming. But at night, at night they can have the world.
(She remembers Damon telling her this. She remembers him making her forget it too.)
Caroline doesn’t want the world. She just wants her mom.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Logan says.
He’s been quiet for a while now. Caroline thinks she’s not quite the playmate he wanted.
“About how I’m going to kill you?” She asks. It’s not that far from the truth. She wants him dead. Wants it desperately and wants it to do it herself. But she can still feel Mrs. Mills blood on her hands, can still hear her stop breathing. She doesn’t want to go through that again. Not even if her victim is him.
(She can still remember Logan watching the Little Mermaid with her over and over again. Remembers forcing him to play Prince Eric and sing. He never complained. Not once. He never complained.)
“You’re thinking about going back to your mom, to all your friends.” Logan says, “You think they’ll just let you back in, but it doesn’t work like that.”
“My mom—”
“Knows all about vampires, she’ll kill you on sight. She’s a founder, that’s what we’ve been trained to do, and you being her kid won’t matter because you’re still a monster.”
That’s what she was now. A monster. A murderer. The type of person her mother put away, killed.
“She won’t do that.”
Caroline was her daughter. She loved her. She would accept her. It would be okay. It would.
“She’s friends with Damon Salvatore, you know that right? He’ll make sure she gets rid of the problem.”
Caroline lets out a snarl, leaping from her sitting position and onto him. He’s under her and her hand is on his throat as she growls at him, actually growls. He smiles up at her.
“What do you know about Damon?”
“I know that he killed me, and I’m going to return the favor.” Logan tells her. “Care to join me, Care Bear?”
It was his stupid nickname for when she was little. When he babysat her. It seemed ridiculous spilling from his lips now.
“What did he do to you?” he asks.
He broke her, that’s what he did. And no one noticed. No one stopped him.
“You killed me.” She told him.
And that should be worse than what Damon had done. It should be.
It should.
--
She shows up in front of her house, fifteen minutes after the sun fully set. Logan didn’t try to stop her, not really. Just told her he hoped she made it back.
(“Things are black and white for the council,” He tells her, “I know, I was the same way before.”
Now he was a monster. Now they both are.)
She can hear heartbeats and voices from the surrounding houses. Neighbors yelling and televisions blaring and she thinks someone might be having sex. She tries to tune it out, really really tries, but it’s still there in the background. Won’t go away.
She can hear her mother inside. She’s pacing, constantly up and down a familiar path. It’s the same one she walked whenever she was yelling at Caroline for doing something stupid.
It wasn’t Caroline’s fault this time.
“Mom,” She calls out, “Mom!”
She hurries to the door, blurs at an impossible speed, unable to stop herself. She just wants her mother.
She bangs on it, bangs with her fist until dents appear that shouldn’t be there. “Mom, please!”
The door opens and Liz is there, relief etched on her face as she looks at her. “I thought…Logan—”
“He let me go,” Caroline whispers, “H-He—”
She can’t bring herself to say it. Not out loud. Not to her mother.
“Can I please just come inside?” She asks instead.
“Of co—”
She can see it. That moment of realization in her mother’s eyes. The moment it all comes crashing down on both of them.
“No.” She shakes her head and Caroline can see tear drops in her eyes.
(She can also see the vein in her neck, prominent and enticing. She can hear the beating of her heart, the way it has quickened.)
“No, not you. Not you.”
She backs away from her, like she thinks Caroline’s going to hurt her, and Caroline cries harder. She doesn’t know when she started crying. Perhaps she never stopped.
“Mom please, just let me come inside.”
“I’m sorry, Caroline. I can’t.” She says, “I’m so sorry.”
She closes the door. She can hear the locks clicking into place, as though she’s scared it won’t matter. That Caroline will still find her way in. Caroline lets out a sob.
“Mom, please!” She calls again. Hopes it will change her mother’s mind. Hopes maternal instincts will kick in and she’ll help her.
She hears her mom inside, back to pacing up and down as she dials the phone.
Caroline hears her say Damon’s name.
--
She finds Logan in the woods, neck deep in a woman who looks familiar but Caroline gratefully doesn’t know the name of. He drops her when he sees Caroline.
“You came back.” He says.
His clothes are covered in blood; it’s going down his arms and dripping off his chin. He’s a messy eater, she thinks hysterically.
“Turns out I have nowhere else to go.”
Her mother turned her back on her. Her father had run away from her a long time ago. And her friends…her friends knew all about the monsters in this town and never told her, never warned her. Even when one was sleeping in her bed instead of hiding under it.
“I’ve always been happy to be a girl’s revenge plan.” Logan grins at her.
“I can’t kill people. I can’t kill humans.” Caroline says.
She can’t stand the thought of it. Can’t stomach it after everything that happened. All she can see is Damon’s face as he promised to kill her. All she can see is Damon.
“Then you won’t.” Logan says.
He moves to stand in front of her, his hands rubbing up and down her arms. The smell is intoxicating, heady in the air and she wants so badly to drink someone dry. To sink her teeth into him in hopes to taste some of what he did.
He moves his hands up to her face, leaving steaks of blood in his wake. “You don’t have to kill anyone,” He tells her, “I’ll do it for you.”
That wasn’t what she had meant.
His thumb moves again, closer to her mouth and her tongue pokes out, tasting just a bit of blood. She turns her head more, sucks his thumb into her mouth and moans.
She shifts quickly, slamming him up against one of the trees and bringing her lips to his. There was so much blood, so much warm beautiful blood and she wanted it all.
Wanted it, wanted it, wanted it.
It was nice to want something and actually get it.
Kissing him felt intoxicating. It was the blood, she knew it was. But she thought it might be nice to think it was him. He was all she had left.
(“I used to babysit you, Caroline Forbes.” She remembers him saying before he killed her.
She thinks it’s funny that the most fucked up part of all of this has nothing to do with that at all.)
She takes his tongue into her mouth and bites down.
His blood isn’t as good as the others, but there’s something sweet about it. Caroline thinks she could learn to like it just as much.
fandom: the vampire diaries
pairings: caroline/logan
summary: Logan Fell used to babysit her; it wasn’t like she was getting in a car with a stranger. She wasn’t that stupid. (Stefan and Damon don’t save her. Logan Fell kills Caroline. But then she wakes up and kind of wishes she hadn’t.)
warnings: dark!ship, mentions of past canon abuse
rating: t
word count: 3034
disclaimer: I don't own anything.
a/n: written for the prompt Caroline/Logan “I used to babysit you, Caroline” that I have saved on my computer but don’t remember where it came from. I’ve been wanting to write it since I found it and finally inspiration struck. I shouldn’t be working on anything but my big bang, but apparently I’m more skilled at procrastination then even I knew.
Caroline remembers her mom being a bitch (people wondered where she got it from but she knew) and going outside, because it was better than being inside. Anything really was. She tried to find Bonnie, she really did, but Bonnie seemed to have disappeared just like Elena and Matt.
(Matt really didn’t disappear; she was just avoiding him, which was basically the same thing.)
She remembers Logan Fell driving up in his fancy expensive car and offering her a ride, like some white knight she knew he wasn’t. She used to eavesdrop at the Gilbert house all the time; she knew exactly what happened between him and Jenna. But she couldn’t find Bonnie and didn’t know if she wanted to find Elena and knew for sure she wanted to be nowhere near her mother, so she said yes.
Logan Fell used to babysit her; it wasn’t like she was getting in a car with a stranger. She wasn’t that stupid.
She remembers climbing into his car. She remembers him smiling at her as his fists had clenched around the steering wheel. She remembers going to put her seat belt on.
Then she remembers nothing at all.
She wakes up on the cold concrete floor. Her body aching and her head ringing and there is this smell, a horrible smell that made her nostrils burn and her stomach turn. It was like rotting flesh, if you know, she actually knew what that smelled like.
There was a balled up jacket under her head, and she would have thought it was sweet, or at least considerate, if she knew where the hell she was.
“You’re awake. I thought you’d be out longer.”
Logan Fell is behind her, sitting on the ground with his legs out in front of him, staring at her with curious but cold eyes.
“I was out much longer.” He says, “But then, I had to dig my way out too.”
He’s not making any sense. Nothing is making sense. And the stupid buzzing just keeps getting louder. She looks up and sees florescent lights staring back at her. She thinks they might be mocking her.
She looks back at Logan, he’s grinning now.
“Don’t worry, Caroline, this is going to be fun.”
He leaves. Only he doesn’t really, because she can still hear him even though she can’t see him. Can still hear his footsteps pounding against the cement and the way he taps his hand against his belt.
It’s all so loud.
She wonders if he gave her something, if he drugged her. She’s never been on drugs before; she doesn’t know what they do to the system. She thinks she made the right decision if this is what they do.
She can hear something else with him, can hear it coming closer. It’s steady, rhythmic. A heart beat.
It’s the only one she hears.
She raises her hand to her chest, to where she knows her heart is. She doesn’t feel anything. Doesn’t hear anything either. It’s like it isn’t there at all.
Logan’s boots appear in front of her, next to them a pair of stiletto heels.
She looks up and sees him still smiling, his eyes on her hand. Or she hopes their on her hand. He took off the vest she was wearing.
She looks away from him, to the woman standing beside him. Mrs. Mills, she works at the library and once told Caroline off for returning a book late. She had been eleven. It was the only book that Caroline didn’t return on time.
She didn’t look scared, but her heart was beating fast. The sound of it kept echoing in Caroline’s ears. The vein in her throat was pulsating, was hard to look away from.
“A little present for you.” Logan says.
Caroline snaps her eyes to him confused. He smiles again and she realizes it’s a ridiculous smile. The type super villains have in cartoons and bad movies. The kind he used every night on the news before he left.
“She’s yours for the taking, Care Bear.” He tells her, “So go ahead. Take.”
He shoves Mrs. Mills at her, sends her crashing to the floor right next to her. Her head connects with the floor and draws blood.
Caroline acts on instinct, moves forward in a way she doesn’t understand, and licks the blood off the other woman’s face. It is the most amazing thing she has tasted. And it doesn’t make sense, because its blood and Caroline just licked it off her like it was ice cream.
(It tasted so much better than ice cream ever had.)
Caroline grabs her by the shoulders, forces her neck to bend and sinks her teeth into her skin.
Thumpthumpthumpthump.
Logan is talking behind her, talking about plans and burning the town to the ground. Reminding everyone who he is. Proving it, really.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
He says they’ll be perfect, that she’ll be perfect. Together they’ll tear this place apart. They’ll be Bonnie and Clyde, only with so much more blood.
Thump.
He says that everyone will pay. They’ll make them pay.
Caroline doesn’t hear a word he says.
The blood stops flowing into her mouth and silence replaces the sound of her heart and Caroline rips herself away.
She skids across the hard floor, her hands scraping and cutting, pushes herself farther and farther away from the body.
“I killed her.” It comes out as kind of a strangled sob. She barely even understands what she’s saying. She just knows she killed her. Knows she sunk her teeth into her neck and drank her dry.
(There’s a flash of teeth, of blood red eyes and fangs and pain. So much pain. But it passes as quickly as it appeared.)
“I killed her.”
Logan is there suddenly, crouching beside her with his hands on her face, whispering softly that it’s okay. It reminds her of when she was six and he was fourteen and she scraped her knee when she fell off her bike. He had kissed it and told her it would all be okay. She had told him she was going to grow up and marry him and he didn’t laugh like the other boys she had said that to before.
“It’s okay,” he says, tipping her chin to look at him directly to look at him, “That’s what you were supposed to do.”
“I—”
He’s wrong. She killed her. She killed her and that wasn’t okay. None of this was okay. There was blood on her mouth, on her hands, and Mrs. Mills’ heart wasn’t beating anymore.
“You didn’t do anything wrong.” Logan says.
His eyes stare too long at her mouth.
Caroline wants to run away. Wants to run far far away and never come back. Wants to wake up from this terrible dream. Wants Mrs. Mills to wake up even more.
Logan leans in, presses his lips against her own. Sucks her lip into her mouth and bites down just a little and groans. He moves quickly after that, his hands gripping her arms as he pulls her closer and licks away all the blood.
She hears him murmur that she didn’t do anything wrong but she doesn’t believe him and she doesn’t kiss him back.
Logan is busy. He’s pulling away the body, bringing her to pile her on top of all the other ones. Caroline hates that she was right. She’s not supposed to know what rotting flesh smells like. Isn’t supposed to know what blood tastes like. What death tastes like.
He acts like it doesn’t mean anything. He acts like its normal to have bodies piled up and locked behind chain link. He doesn’t act at all like the man she once knew.
He turns his back to her and Caroline runs.
There’s a door, she knows there’s a door, and she finds it quicker, faster than she should have. But she’s there, tearing it open and forcing herself outside before he can reach her again.
She’s outside. She’s escaped. But she hasn’t really, because it hurts. God it hurts. She can feel the skin peeling away, anger and pain bubbling up to the surface, taking its place.
(She can feel something else too. Strong hands grasping at her ankles, latching on and refusing to let go. Screams that don’t belong to her, telling her to run, to escape echo in her brain.)
She lets out a terrified scream and arms are around her, pulling her backwards, pulling her inside.
The two of them fall into a pile, him hovering over her as their legs intertwine.
“You can’t go outside.” He tells her.
(Something else eats away at her brain, a distant memory of someone else on top of her. Someone else with blood red eyes and horrible intentions. But she pushes it away.)
You’re a vampire, he tells her.
You need blood to survive, he tells her.
Damon and Stefan Salvatore are vampires too, he tells her.
You’ll be young and beautiful forever, he tells her.
I’ll look out for you, he tells her.
He’ll always look out for her and always means so much more now.
Caroline doesn’t say anything at all.
Caroline stays as far away from him as he’ll let her. He wants a friend, she can tell. Wants to be close to someone, to be near them again, and she is his only choice.
Caroline wants to leave. Wants her mother. Wants her friends. She doesn’t want him, doesn’t want this.
(She doesn’t get a choice though. She never gets a choice.)
She keeps remembering things, things she doesn’t want to remember. Damon is there, he is always there, and it’s like it’s happening all over again. His teeth in her skin, breaking and tearing. His hands pushing her down into her mattress, so far down she thinks she’ll never get back up. His eyes making her do things she didn’t want to do. But she does them with a smile, because Damon wants her too.
She keeps seeing him. Damon. Damon. Damon.
She wants it to go away.
She wants it to stop happening. For it to stop playing out in front of her eyes.
(“No, Damon. Stop. Please stop. Damon, please. No, no, no, no.”
She doesn’t get a choice though. She never gets a choice)
She can see the sun sitting in a small window across the room. She’s been planning her escape around it. Vampires can’t walk in the sun, not if they don’t have a magic ring. They’ll burn alive, screaming. But at night, at night they can have the world.
(She remembers Damon telling her this. She remembers him making her forget it too.)
Caroline doesn’t want the world. She just wants her mom.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Logan says.
He’s been quiet for a while now. Caroline thinks she’s not quite the playmate he wanted.
“About how I’m going to kill you?” She asks. It’s not that far from the truth. She wants him dead. Wants it desperately and wants it to do it herself. But she can still feel Mrs. Mills blood on her hands, can still hear her stop breathing. She doesn’t want to go through that again. Not even if her victim is him.
(She can still remember Logan watching the Little Mermaid with her over and over again. Remembers forcing him to play Prince Eric and sing. He never complained. Not once. He never complained.)
“You’re thinking about going back to your mom, to all your friends.” Logan says, “You think they’ll just let you back in, but it doesn’t work like that.”
“My mom—”
“Knows all about vampires, she’ll kill you on sight. She’s a founder, that’s what we’ve been trained to do, and you being her kid won’t matter because you’re still a monster.”
That’s what she was now. A monster. A murderer. The type of person her mother put away, killed.
“She won’t do that.”
Caroline was her daughter. She loved her. She would accept her. It would be okay. It would.
“She’s friends with Damon Salvatore, you know that right? He’ll make sure she gets rid of the problem.”
Caroline lets out a snarl, leaping from her sitting position and onto him. He’s under her and her hand is on his throat as she growls at him, actually growls. He smiles up at her.
“What do you know about Damon?”
“I know that he killed me, and I’m going to return the favor.” Logan tells her. “Care to join me, Care Bear?”
It was his stupid nickname for when she was little. When he babysat her. It seemed ridiculous spilling from his lips now.
“What did he do to you?” he asks.
He broke her, that’s what he did. And no one noticed. No one stopped him.
“You killed me.” She told him.
And that should be worse than what Damon had done. It should be.
It should.
She shows up in front of her house, fifteen minutes after the sun fully set. Logan didn’t try to stop her, not really. Just told her he hoped she made it back.
(“Things are black and white for the council,” He tells her, “I know, I was the same way before.”
Now he was a monster. Now they both are.)
She can hear heartbeats and voices from the surrounding houses. Neighbors yelling and televisions blaring and she thinks someone might be having sex. She tries to tune it out, really really tries, but it’s still there in the background. Won’t go away.
She can hear her mother inside. She’s pacing, constantly up and down a familiar path. It’s the same one she walked whenever she was yelling at Caroline for doing something stupid.
It wasn’t Caroline’s fault this time.
“Mom,” She calls out, “Mom!”
She hurries to the door, blurs at an impossible speed, unable to stop herself. She just wants her mother.
She bangs on it, bangs with her fist until dents appear that shouldn’t be there. “Mom, please!”
The door opens and Liz is there, relief etched on her face as she looks at her. “I thought…Logan—”
“He let me go,” Caroline whispers, “H-He—”
She can’t bring herself to say it. Not out loud. Not to her mother.
“Can I please just come inside?” She asks instead.
“Of co—”
She can see it. That moment of realization in her mother’s eyes. The moment it all comes crashing down on both of them.
“No.” She shakes her head and Caroline can see tear drops in her eyes.
(She can also see the vein in her neck, prominent and enticing. She can hear the beating of her heart, the way it has quickened.)
“No, not you. Not you.”
She backs away from her, like she thinks Caroline’s going to hurt her, and Caroline cries harder. She doesn’t know when she started crying. Perhaps she never stopped.
“Mom please, just let me come inside.”
“I’m sorry, Caroline. I can’t.” She says, “I’m so sorry.”
She closes the door. She can hear the locks clicking into place, as though she’s scared it won’t matter. That Caroline will still find her way in. Caroline lets out a sob.
“Mom, please!” She calls again. Hopes it will change her mother’s mind. Hopes maternal instincts will kick in and she’ll help her.
She hears her mom inside, back to pacing up and down as she dials the phone.
Caroline hears her say Damon’s name.
She finds Logan in the woods, neck deep in a woman who looks familiar but Caroline gratefully doesn’t know the name of. He drops her when he sees Caroline.
“You came back.” He says.
His clothes are covered in blood; it’s going down his arms and dripping off his chin. He’s a messy eater, she thinks hysterically.
“Turns out I have nowhere else to go.”
Her mother turned her back on her. Her father had run away from her a long time ago. And her friends…her friends knew all about the monsters in this town and never told her, never warned her. Even when one was sleeping in her bed instead of hiding under it.
“I’ve always been happy to be a girl’s revenge plan.” Logan grins at her.
“I can’t kill people. I can’t kill humans.” Caroline says.
She can’t stand the thought of it. Can’t stomach it after everything that happened. All she can see is Damon’s face as he promised to kill her. All she can see is Damon.
“Then you won’t.” Logan says.
He moves to stand in front of her, his hands rubbing up and down her arms. The smell is intoxicating, heady in the air and she wants so badly to drink someone dry. To sink her teeth into him in hopes to taste some of what he did.
He moves his hands up to her face, leaving steaks of blood in his wake. “You don’t have to kill anyone,” He tells her, “I’ll do it for you.”
That wasn’t what she had meant.
His thumb moves again, closer to her mouth and her tongue pokes out, tasting just a bit of blood. She turns her head more, sucks his thumb into her mouth and moans.
She shifts quickly, slamming him up against one of the trees and bringing her lips to his. There was so much blood, so much warm beautiful blood and she wanted it all.
Wanted it, wanted it, wanted it.
It was nice to want something and actually get it.
Kissing him felt intoxicating. It was the blood, she knew it was. But she thought it might be nice to think it was him. He was all she had left.
(“I used to babysit you, Caroline Forbes.” She remembers him saying before he killed her.
She thinks it’s funny that the most fucked up part of all of this has nothing to do with that at all.)
She takes his tongue into her mouth and bites down.
His blood isn’t as good as the others, but there’s something sweet about it. Caroline thinks she could learn to like it just as much.
